Many Qualified Candidates, Including You

I got my first "You made it to the final round and we went with someone else" job rejection today.  I had been excited when I first responded to the firm's ad, and all of the interviews went well enough that I was surprised by this news.  Surprise quickly turned to annoyance.  Really, you're not going to hire me?  You realize that's a bad idea?  Well, good luck with that.  I mean, I was perfect for this job.  See all these different aspects of my education and work history?  See how they all combine to align perfectly with the fairly specialized mission statement of your organization?

And that's when annoyance turned to panic.  I was perfect for this job, and I didn't get it.  If I can't get a job for which I am perfect, what hope is there?  I had been excited about the possibility of getting this job, not just because I need a job, but also because it would have been a good job, with good opportunities in the future.  Looking through job postings, I started getting scared.  I read through ads for which I was qualified, but which were for jobs that I don't want to do.  Jobs that would take me so far off my chosen career path that I worry I might never get back to it.

As I have applied for jobs, I have felt lucky because almost every resume I send off is for a position that sounds exciting to me.  As crushed as I was after reading my "thanks, but no thanks" email, and began to wonder if all that excitement was not such a good thing after all.  Could I just have gotten myself on an unpredictable and terrifying roller coaster, where I can't see beyond the next turn, and am unable to tell how high or how low it will get?

Hoping the beautiful sunny weather outside would lift my spirits, I went for a walk.  I have a hard time feeling feeling frightened in spring, and began thinking of my enthusiasm, not as a height of excitement from which I might fall, but as a reservoir.  Each job that I apply to that makes me think that getting laid off might end up being a good thing adds to it, and helps keep me focused as a rejection draws a little back.  

This afternoon I applied for two jobs, and for both, the enthusiasm in my cover letter was genuine.  I'm still playing back in my head the failed final interview for the job I didn't get, but don't feel, like I did this morning, that my working life is over.  There are still great jobs out there, and I'll catch the next one that comes along.